Know Thyself, or Schrodinger's Glass

“Know thyself.” It sounds simple, but really most of us hide ourselves. Sometimes it is worth taking a look in the mirror to take a good look at oneself – both literally and figuratively. Be sure to acknowledge the beauty, grace, strength, intelligence, love, but also the flabby bits, the awkward, the less than perfect, the weakness. Then work on getting better.

It appears that in my life I have been a troubleshooter, and a foundation builder. Of course, that often means I was less effective at sustaining something. I have found this repeatedly in my various careers. When I was an electronic technician repairing the pumps and equipment in gas stations, my company sent me as the first person from Michigan to learn how to install and fix the, then, brand new systems with credit card readers actually in the gas pumps. During my career in human services, working with people with disabilities, there were several instances of my getting rapidly promoted in order to salvage a troublesome area. Once I was promoted to manage a group home with a history of staffing issues. Another time I was promoted to manage a vocational rehabilitation workshop which couldn’t keep contracts. Finally, in yet another line of work, I was promoted to operations manager to set up a new Welfare-to-Work (Welfare Reform Act, 1996) program in Orange County, California.

In all the cases I fixed problems and established very successful programs. In every case I stayed a little too long and began creating my own problems. So I left. However, a successful case of my not staying too long was coaching cross country. Looking at the history of the program, previous coaches hadn’t lasted more than a couple of years, and quite frequently there weren’t enough runners to even field a scoring team. I took a small team, but with a core of solid runners, stabilized the program, and then built it up. We joined the NCAA Division II, I made us competitive, and I instilled expectations of success. Then, after six years, I left. I knew I wasn’t the person for the long haul. That’s for the next coach.

If you want a weakness for this discussion it’s that I care too much. Whether it is employees, students, runners, I find myself advocating for them, protecting them, helping them, supporting them. Yes, that’s good and loving, but as a leader you must also have the hard edge or they won’t be pushed enough.

However no one should be set in their ways. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you can see what you are but you can also see what you want to become. I’m making adjustments. I’m learning to go the distance (eighth year in my present job, a record by a long shot). I’m also learning to be tougher on people when they need a push.

I think it is worthwhile for all of us to look at the patterns in our lives to understand why we fall short in some areas and how we succeed in others. If we don’t know ourselves then we can never make the best of our strengths, and we let our weaknesses fester. If we don’t like something we see in our mirror, literal and metaphorical, we can change it. If you say “this is me, this is who I am,” you are wrong. It is simply you at the moment. You weren’t the same 10 years ago, you won’t be the same in 10 years’ time. As my wife told me in a recent conversation the glass is both half full and half empty, it is not inevitable which way you choose to see it.

It is equally worthwhile to look at others also. If you get to know the people with whom you work then you know who to assign particular tasks, and who works well with whom. By taking the effort to learn about people you can approach everyone as a unique individual, and treat them as such. I suppose that ultimately you learn respect for yourself and for others.