Terrible Student Gets Ph.D.

I was a terrible student. My early grade reports frequently stated that if I ever applied myself I could actually do quite well. When we moved to the US while I was in high school I became even worse. Discipline was lax, the classes were not challenging, I missed class a lot, and put minimal effort into my assignments. I think I graduated with a C- average.

I scraped entry into college on my test scores which were superlative. I went with a friend to the University of Arizona, 2,000 miles from home, and with no study habits whatsoever. I had a lot of fun that year. I failed almost all of my classes, and came home.

It’s a bit of blur for a few years after that. A semester at Eastern Michigan resulted in trips to the Wooden Nickel bar rather than to class. A year at Wayne State resulted on some passed classes and a lot of dropped classes. Meanwhile, various jobs paid the bills while I lived in Detroit. I did get a certification as an Electronic Technician. This allowed me to work for a few years repairing equipment at gas stations. It paid pretty well.

Then I got married. First we focused on my wife finishing her degree. Then I went back to school at a good small liberal arts college (Madonna University). I graduated with honors while working 45-50 hours a week. Finally, I had done it!

I regret none of it. It had been my own story, my own adventures.

I have students now who struggle, who drop out, who fail. I understand that some of us take a more winding path. I wish I had known then that I wasn’t failing, really I was just better and happier not in school. I was living life in different ways. I hope I can help some of my students find the path they are to follow, to accept that path, and to make the most of it. For some it is finding the course of study they love and to pursue it – their parents may not like them taking History or Theatre, but it’s their love, their life. For others it may not yet be school. They may need to explore a different path. Even if it’s just for a while.

Eventually, I went back to graduate school. Just for the fun of it to get a master’s degree in Medieval history. Like most decisions in my life it was simply what I wanted to do, no specific aim or goal other than the doing. At the time we were living in California, because it was simply where we wanted to live.

It was intimidating that first day sitting in that seminar room with all those smart young people. How the heck could I keep up with them? Worse yet, I got a B on my first paper (a B in grad school is a Very Bad grade). This seemed to confirm my fears that once again I was a bad student. The professor told me I was capable of writing well, I just needed the courage to do so. That worked: just have the courage to do my best. His advice has stuck with me ever since. I did just fine after that, made some great friends, and even impressed my advisor enough for her to encourage me to apply to Ph.D. programs.

I got in. This horrible student, this multiple times drop out, got into a Ph.D. program. I had followed my own long and winding path, but I was the better for it.

It was very intimidating that first day sitting in the seminar room with all these obviously brilliant young people. Minnesota is a top research university, and it attracts top talent. How the heck did they let me in? Of course, I did fine. I made some great friends, learned an incredible amount, got beaten into shape by two amazing and tough advisors, wrote a passable dissertation, and got a Ph.D.

Dr. Donald Leech. My mother liked to say that a lot when I first got the degree.

I have taught, and am teaching, a few of those brilliant young undergraduates. Some of them have gone on to take the winding path I took. I support them and encourage that. Some have gone on to be, others will become, those clever people sitting in that seminar room intimidating some poor guy like me.

I love these students, and I love being a small part of their path, perhaps even serving as a little landmark to help them on their way. Meanwhile. I continue to follow my own way, a way with no grand goal or destination, just being and doing.